Written by *An-Unsure-Thing.

BY

Written by *An-Unsure-Thing.

1 - You just hit a moose on your mo-ped.

2 - You have the power to read people's minds. What am I thinking right now?

3 - You are the richest person on Earth. You own your own island, and plan to purchase every country in the world. Which country would you buy first?

4 - You are throwing up hot, molten lava.

5 - You are pregnant with Papa Smurf's baby.

6 - You are writing your own dictionary of words you made up. What is your first word, and the meaning?

7 - Walking along a deserted road, you encounter a hostile group of thieves. How would you constructively fight them off with your belongings?

8 - You went to take a shower, and instead of water coming out of the faucet, it was baby oil.

9 - You wake up to discover an alligator curled up with you in bed. You're naked.

10 - You have discovered The Fountain of Youth, only to find that it's merely a pool of cheddar cheese.

Written by *An-Unsure-Thing.

1 - Wear duct tape or wear tin foil?

2 - Sing like Beyonce or Britney Spears?

3 - Get hit hard with a mace or a boulder?

4 - Be Link from Zelda or Mario?

5 - Sleep on nails or splinters?

6 - Be a toaster or a microwave?

7 - Rob a train or a boat?

8 - Get laid or get paid? ( Both? )

9 - Be a gnome or a hobbit?

10 - Eat scorpions or snails?

Written by *An-Unsure-Thing.

As I was walking to __________ one day, I met a __________ who said: "__________?" I slapped __________ and ran away, because I was __________. __________ chased me into a __________, and __________ me.

Written by *An-Unsure-Thing.

Chug, chug, chug.
Down goes the mug.
It isn't alcohol,
but enjoyed by all.

Last week's riddle answer: Death.

Written by *An-Unsure-Thing.

Fill in the boxes that are true with an 'X'. Total your number of X's and get your answer below. Feel free to re-post in your journals and tag people!

What god / goddess are you?

[_] You like water.
[_] You like violence.
[_] You are strong.
[_] You have been in a fight.
[_] You are handsome / beautiful.
[_] You are sort of a whore.
[_] You are a virgin.
[_] You are religious.
[_] You like Greek mythology.
[_] You wish you were a god / goddess.
[_] You love gentle music.
[_] You practice herbalism / alchemy / medicine.
[_] You are wise and believe in a good strategy.
[_] You like the rain and storms.

TOTAL = ?

0 - Mortal - You are a lowly human, nothing more.

1 - Aphrodite - Goddess of love, lust, beauty, wife of Hephaestus. Ares is her lover. Eros is her son. Known as the most beautiful of the Greek goddesses. Her symbols are the scepter, myrtle, and dove.

2 - Apollo - God of music, medicine, health, prophecies, poetry, and archery. Also said to be the god of light and truth. Is associated with the sun. Also referred to as the most handsome of the gods. He is Artemis's twin brother, and son of Zeus. His symbols are the bow, lyre, and laurel.

3 - Ares - God of war, murder and bloodshed. Brother to Athena, and is the son of Zeus. Has an affair with Aphrodite. His symbols are vultures, dogs, boars, and a spear.

4 - Artemis - Goddess of the hunt, wild things, and the moon. Protector of the dewy young. She became associated with the moon. Apollo is her twin brother. Artemis is a virgin goddess. Her symbols are the bow, dogs, and deer.

5 - Athena - Goddess of wisdom, warfare, strategy, handicrafts and reason. Sister of Ares, and is the daughter of Zeus. Sprung from Zeus's head in full body armor. She is the wisest of the gods. Her symbols are the aegis, owl, and olive tree.

6 - Demeter - Goddess of fertility, agriculture, grain and harvest. Demeter is a daughter of Cronus and Rhea and sister of Zeus. Her symbols are the scepter, torch, and corn.

7 - Dionysus - God of wine, parties/festivals, madness and merriment. He represents not only the intoxicating power of wine, but also its social and beneficial influences. His symbols are the grape vine, ivy, and thyrsus.

8 - Hades - God of the underworld and wealth. Brother of Poseidon, Zeus and Hera, and consort to Persephone. His symbols are the bident, the Helm of Darkness, and the three-headed dog, Cerberus.

9 - Hephaestus - God of fire and the forge (god of fire and smiths) with very weak legs. He was thrown off Mount Olympus as a baby by his mother and in some stories his father. He makes armor for the gods and other heroes like Achilles. Son of Hera and Zeus is his father in some accounts. Married to Aphrodite, but she does not love him because he is deformed and, as a result, is cheating on him with Ares. He had a daughter named Pandora. His symbols are an axe, a hammer and a flame.

10 - Hera - Goddess of marriage, women, and childbirth. Zeus' wife and sister. Appears with peacock feathers often. Her symbols are the scepter, diadem, and peacock.

11 - Hermes - God of flight, thieves, mischief, commerce, and travelers. Messenger of the gods. He showed the way for the dead souls to Hades's realm. He shows up in more myths than any other god or goddess. Likes to trick people and is very inventive. Hermes invented the lyre using a turtle shell and sinew. His symbols are the caduceus and winged boots.

12 - Hestia - Goddess of the hearth and home, the focal point of every household. Daughter of Rhea and Cronus. Gave up her seat as one of the Twelve Olympians to tend to the sacred flame on Mount Olympus for Dionysus. Her symbol is the hearth.

13 - Poseidon - God of the sea. He created horses from sea foam. God of earthquakes as well. Also called 'Earth Shaker' and 'Storm Bringer'. His symbols are horses, sea foam, dolphins, and a trident.

14 - Zeus - The king of the gods, the ruler of Mount Olympus and the god of the sky and thunder. His symbols are the thunderbolt, eagle, bull, and oak.

Written by *An-Unsure-Thing.

Willy Wonka Wanked White Wankers.

Written by *An-Unsure-Thing.

"Never get in a spitting contest with a llama."